Adversity: A Master Teacher by Gary Hopkins
June, 2008
Merriam-Webster refers to Adversity as: a state, condition, or instance of serious or continued difficulty or misfortune.
If we break down the definition a bit, then we see it for what it really is - instance of continued difficulty. Its quite interesting at how benign the term Adversity becomes when we consider it from this perspective.
Of course this is not how most of the world sees it. Many of us tend to focus on the word Misfortune in the definition. In turn creating all kinds of personal drama over things that (more times than not) turn out to be rather silly in the long run.
So, if there are different ways to view this term and what it means to us, then why do we focus on the most negative? Personally I believe the answer lies in our social conditioning. We are simply brought up to believe that the bad things that happen to us should be disruptive and debilitating. But what if we learned to see things from a different point of view. What if we learned to teach ourselves (and our children) to take the "bad" things in life and see them simply as obstacles, hurdles, or even Lessons. What if we educated ourselves to a point where anger and fear were turned into just an Irritation?
I’d like to take a few moments and describe adversity as I see it. I believe that Adversity to be a set of conditions presented to us to foster learning. Adverse conditions can facilitate an infinite number of reactions in a person. However it is up to that person to choose what kind of reaction is appropriate for them. For some this reaction is subtle and with strong reasoning, for others it is shear chaos.
Now, I am not advocating the warm and fuzzy here, especially in the midst of extreme situations that can come up in ones life. There is something to be said for the glass being "half full" point of view, however I’m talking about a fundamental core change in ones view towards life.
A good example of this would be the differing views on death that exist in the world. We all have had someone pass on in our lifetime, and most of us have been to a funeral or two. You have probably even seen a friend or a loved one who literally threw themselves on the casket stricken with grief and others in the same room that were rather nonchalant about the whole thing. Neither person is wrong. It is simply how each of them perceives the situation at that point in time.
It all comes down to making a choice. Do I allow my past conditioning to take me over or do I start to train myself to think in new ways. Once you embark on this process you will find that the instances of chaos continually fade into the background. Calmness and seeing in terms of "how can I get past this" start to make their way into your life more frequently. Of course this is a philosophy that requires a bit a thought and practice and it is a process. You will have relapses. You will not be able to get past certain issues as quickly as you would like. However, to change your core thought process will effect you very profoundly over the long term. You can think of it this way: Today I over react to situations 75% of the time and am truly happy 25% of the time. Tomorrow, I will be at 70/30. Next month will be 50/50. You now start to see the progression. Over time you can significantly change how you deal with Adversity. Before long you see that instead of allowing this force to wreck your way of life, you will start to use it as the master educator that it truly is.
Remember the definition: instance of continued difficulty. This is a phrase that can be applied to many situations. Over time you will come to understand that this applies to even the most devastating things in life. It may not wipe away all of your troubles, you will still grieve and you will still have bad days, however if this change of thought can diminish any pain or anxiety in your life, is it not worth pursuing?
June, 2008
Merriam-Webster refers to Adversity as: a state, condition, or instance of serious or continued difficulty or misfortune.
If we break down the definition a bit, then we see it for what it really is - instance of continued difficulty. Its quite interesting at how benign the term Adversity becomes when we consider it from this perspective.
Of course this is not how most of the world sees it. Many of us tend to focus on the word Misfortune in the definition. In turn creating all kinds of personal drama over things that (more times than not) turn out to be rather silly in the long run.
So, if there are different ways to view this term and what it means to us, then why do we focus on the most negative? Personally I believe the answer lies in our social conditioning. We are simply brought up to believe that the bad things that happen to us should be disruptive and debilitating. But what if we learned to see things from a different point of view. What if we learned to teach ourselves (and our children) to take the "bad" things in life and see them simply as obstacles, hurdles, or even Lessons. What if we educated ourselves to a point where anger and fear were turned into just an Irritation?
I’d like to take a few moments and describe adversity as I see it. I believe that Adversity to be a set of conditions presented to us to foster learning. Adverse conditions can facilitate an infinite number of reactions in a person. However it is up to that person to choose what kind of reaction is appropriate for them. For some this reaction is subtle and with strong reasoning, for others it is shear chaos.
Now, I am not advocating the warm and fuzzy here, especially in the midst of extreme situations that can come up in ones life. There is something to be said for the glass being "half full" point of view, however I’m talking about a fundamental core change in ones view towards life.
A good example of this would be the differing views on death that exist in the world. We all have had someone pass on in our lifetime, and most of us have been to a funeral or two. You have probably even seen a friend or a loved one who literally threw themselves on the casket stricken with grief and others in the same room that were rather nonchalant about the whole thing. Neither person is wrong. It is simply how each of them perceives the situation at that point in time.
It all comes down to making a choice. Do I allow my past conditioning to take me over or do I start to train myself to think in new ways. Once you embark on this process you will find that the instances of chaos continually fade into the background. Calmness and seeing in terms of "how can I get past this" start to make their way into your life more frequently. Of course this is a philosophy that requires a bit a thought and practice and it is a process. You will have relapses. You will not be able to get past certain issues as quickly as you would like. However, to change your core thought process will effect you very profoundly over the long term. You can think of it this way: Today I over react to situations 75% of the time and am truly happy 25% of the time. Tomorrow, I will be at 70/30. Next month will be 50/50. You now start to see the progression. Over time you can significantly change how you deal with Adversity. Before long you see that instead of allowing this force to wreck your way of life, you will start to use it as the master educator that it truly is.
Remember the definition: instance of continued difficulty. This is a phrase that can be applied to many situations. Over time you will come to understand that this applies to even the most devastating things in life. It may not wipe away all of your troubles, you will still grieve and you will still have bad days, however if this change of thought can diminish any pain or anxiety in your life, is it not worth pursuing?
